So I was supposed to get my cell phone charger yesterday in the mail cause my mom accidentally took it back to New Brunswick with her, but my dad only just sent it yesterday, so another couple days without proper contact. Let me tell you, I feel reeaaallly insecure without a cellphone whilst alone in downtown Toronto at night It's a frightening thing.

So. Lets see, where to start. I suppose I'll start this with I hope that you read this because I think you deserve to.

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm just a coward and I figure the best way to go about the whole situation was to avoid it. But apparently that was the worst way. Well, it WAS the worst way, now it's probably the second worst way. Actually no, it's at the same level as what you just did.

So you just sent me this little IM
"hey. i have a girlfriend, she is better looking than you are, doesn't bore me to tears when we have a conversation, has a degree in something that will actually make her money (lol, acting), and actually gives a damn about me. you enjoy the rest of your hopefully short ass life now, and i hope you get hit by a car. "

Alrighty sir, fair enough. But if you will permit, let me dissect this a tad.

"hey. i have a girlfriend"
Oh really? So, let me get this straight. You've been trying to contact me for the past few weeks, no? Well, if that is so, (the girlfriend thing) then that means you would have had to have had her for at least a month or so now, bonding and building up a relationship and whatnot. So you were trying to mend this thing with me while tugging this poor girl along? And if it hasn't been long, than my good sir, have yourself tested, she probably has a shitton of diseases.

"she is better looking than you are"
Again sir, fair enough. Actually, you know what? NO. FUCK NO. YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME UNATTRACTIVE, YOU DON'T GET TO CALL ME UGLY, and MOST of all, YOU don't have ANY business making calls on attractiveness you pock-marked fag.

"doesn't bore me to tears when we have a conversation"
Alright, tell me this then, what were all those long into the early morning conversations we had then? Boring? So you're telling me the whole thing was based on a lie then? Well thanks for 2 and a half years of lies then.

"has a degree in something that will actually make her money (lol, acting)"
Be it so, she very well could get quite rich from something like that. But do you really think she's going to drag you along with her when she gets her big break? And at least I'm trying dammit. I'm not 23, a college dropout and barely able to provide for myself. And for the record, it's comedy writing AND -performing-. bitch.

"and actually gives a damn about me"
I can see where this statement comes from. Entirely, and it's about the most untrue one in the whole thing. you might find it terribly hard to believe after these past few months and the previous writings here, but I really do care about you. But I don't have the mental stamina to try and keep up any kind of relationship, let alone an online one. The reason I've been avoiding it (which is a terrible thing to have done) is because I know all of the issues you have with such things and I was TERRIFIED of what you might do. So I hoped that by avoiding it, you would eventually do it yourself and it would be easier. Turns out it's a really bad thing to do and people get hurt.

Onto the last act now.

"you enjoy the rest of your hopefully short ass life now, and i hope you get hit by a car. "
Now, don't think I'm not going to tear into this like a lion into a fresh antelope carcass just because I got all caring and sappy in the last bit. (see what I did there? Nice use of simile AND metaphor.) Oh no indeed. I can't really say much about this. I can't really describe how angry this made me. It can't be put into words, even trying to describe what it makes me want to do seems like it wouldn't have enough impact. So I'll be civil (aka passive aggressive) about it. You know, I've never thought about it before much, but I really think that killing myself via car impact seems like it would be the perfect solution to the self worth issues of some fatass I met online and lives well over a 1000km south. (That's right cocksucker, METRIC SYSTEM. Canada for the win. I sure hope it isn't too hard for your little West Virginian mind to comprehend.)

All in all, I shouldn't really press submit on this, but I'm far past caring right now. While we're talking about caring. I fucked the guy down the hall on Saturday and last night. Yeah. See how it feels to hear about that? Now you know how I felt when you stuck your dick into that slutty bitch from Oklahoma... Whatever the fuck her name was.

Cheers DA.